And how does that make you feel?

I had two therapy appointments today. One with the psychiatrist, and one with the therapist. My doctor said it was okay for me to stay off the Cymbalta for now, since I'm still not sure. He says plenty people go off the meds for the duration of the pregnancy and are okay, but if the need to treat the depression/anxiety becomes great enough, they have to treat me. He says he thinks that staying on the cymbalta will be fine, but that I should talk to my OB/GYN first. They may want me to be on Zoloft or Prozac as those have had definite "okays" throughout numerous pregnancies. He did, however, suggest that if I do stay off the medication for the pregnancy that I at least keep up with therapy once a week. But he really thinks I'll be okay on the cymbalta. So I just have to call him and let him know as soon as I know what the OB/GYN says.

My therapist was surprised, but genuinely happy (or a good actress) about all the great stressors (the good type) happening in my life right now. I have another appointment with her on the 31st, right before I leave for Vegas. I know that's two weeks away, but I was hoping that I'd know more about the medication by the next visit.

She seemed pleased with my accomplishments, and it made me happy to know that at least there is one other person that realizes my efforts for what they really hard. It's really exhausting to care everyday, but I really, really want to. Today, I actually would have loved to have had a recording of my session with her, because I think it was an accomplishment, even for me, in the way I responded to what's been going on in life lately (A LOT).

My memory is shot. I can't remember much, so I definitely don't remember the last thing I posted. This morning feels like it was days ago.

I didn't have coffee this morning. I'm still not sure if I should cut that out completely or not. I've read that it's okay to have a cup or two each day. By 5pm, I did have a Mochassippi, though. I was so thirsty and CC's was too close to pass up! And it was really yummy, too! Then I went to Chili's with M. It was great to sit and talk with her for a while. I really hope she finds "her way."

I've been incredibly snotty the past couple days. I've been sneezing like mad at work. It drives me nutty. I have a box of Puffs everywhere that I go! Is it a cold? Or is it the thinning of the mucous membranes because I'm pregnant that makes me congested? I really think it's a cold.

Today was the first day I was really nauseated all morning long. So much so, I even brought along an icecream bucket lined with a plastic bag...just in cases! (If you've seen Love, Actually--and if you haven't you should!--you'll get the bad grammar there.) It finally subsided after lunch. But riding around town with my mom didn't help it any. I really think during these nine months I will most definitely be driving everywhere I go; no riding along.I have a bit of a headache right now and I'm really tired. All afternoon I've just wanted to take a nap. And it makes me that much more exhausted to think of waking up for work tomorrow.

OH!! Speaking of work! Remember that I sent in my resume for a copy editor position? Wellllllll, I got a response!!!

Kerry,Thank you for your interest in ABP! I'm excited about your enthusiasm for editing and your experience in writing. We are definitely interested in hiring you as an editor.

Awesome, no? I think it's a great opportunity. It will offer wonderful experience! I'm looking forward to it!

Anyway, I'm so tired and I should get to bed, I guess. Have a good night, folks!

Here comes the rain, again.

I'm pretty irritable this afternoon. I've been trying to make calls all day. I feel pretty lost about what I'm supposed to do. The gynecologist I've always seen is in Alexandria. I'm not setting up an appointment there. So, I don't have a doctor. I thought I needed to have a doctor confirm that I'm pregnant, but after calling a few health units, it seems that most ob/gyn offices don't have to have a second verification; the two at home tests should be enough.

In the midst, and perhaps height, of my irritation, the LaMOMS lady called (it's a program that pays for all prenatal care, delivery, and up to 60 days postnatal care for families under a certain income, which we happen to fall into) and said I just needed proof of my work/salary faxed over, and everything should be set up by Thursday. She said I probably shouldn't schedule an appointment until after that, so that I know I'll be covered. At least that. BUUUUUUUUT. The office manager isn't in today (completely unreliable) and I don't know if I can get the information I need from her today. None of which would be a problem if they just provided check stubs each paycheck.

My back hurts. My head hurts. I'm incredibly sleepy. I get no sleep at night. None! I toss and turn and no matter how I get, I'm never comfortable. I think I need my granny recliner from my sister's. I have a feeling I might be sleeping in that chair a good bit for the next nine months.



And what if something happens? I gotta tell you, it sucks telling people and getting excited right now, because what if it doesn't carry on? What if I miscarry or something like that? It's just SCARY.

Anyway, I'm still at work. My nerves are really short, but I guess I need to try to get something else done.

Good News.

I'm pregnant!!!!!

That deserves a line all in itself. This is earlier than I expected it to be, but it's all good. I'm happy and Ben's happy, and that's what matters. I'm going to the doctor tomorrow. I've taken two tests and both have said "pregnant." My sister's boyfriend says HCG don't lie. I was planning to take a half a day tomorrow anyway, because I have two therapy appointments. I guess I'll spend all day in and out of doctors' offices.

By my own calculations, I'll be due mid March. The changes are already crazy. Just thinking that I have a life growing inside of me is crazy. Mind blowing. O.O

My family all seems pretty excited, too. I'm happy. I know my nephew will be really happy, too. My sisters tell me that he asked me a couple weeks ago for a baby, though I have no recollection of that at all. But there ya go, he's getting what he asked for!

So much is happening in my life right now. Marriage, pregnancy, looking for a new house and a new job...the list goes on, but those are the biggest, most stressful (both good and bad stress) items.

The most prominent changes have to include the smells and the achiness! Everything smells and everything hurts. I really keep waiting for my period to start becuase I cramp so much. But no such signs. I feel like I need to take a million more tests, just to be sure. But that's what the doctor visit will be about tomorrow.

Smells, achiness, and NO SLEEP. I don't think I've ever had that much trouble sleeping in my life!

Anyway, more later, I guess I need to work, now.